How do I date as a Christian?
If dating feels confusing — too many rules, or none, plus real loneliness underneath it all — we’re really glad you’re here. Faith offers wisdom here, not a rigid rulebook.
Dating can feel like a maze: apps, mixed signals, purity-culture baggage for some, total confusion for others, and a quiet ache of loneliness running underneath. Whether you’re hoping to find someone or just trying to do this well, the good news is that faith gives you something better than a formula — it gives you a way of treating people, and a security that doesn’t depend on your relationship status.
Character over chemistry, people over conquest
The heart of a Christian approach to dating is simple: honor God, and genuinely care for the other person rather than use them. That reframes everything. Instead of “what can I get?” you ask “who is this person, and am I treating them the way I’d want my future spouse treated right now?” It means valuing character — kindness, integrity, how they treat people who can’t do anything for them — over chemistry alone. And because faith shapes your deepest values and direction, sharing it gives a relationship a common foundation; the Bible’s caution about being “unequally yoked” is wisdom, not snobbery.
Singleness is a full life, not a waiting room
RockPoint is a Spirit-filled church, and we want to say clearly: being single is not a second-class life or a problem to be fixed. The Bible honors singleness — Jesus himself was single, and Paul called it a gift. Your worth, purpose, and capacity for a rich life were never dependent on being partnered. At the same time, the loneliness can be very real, and that longing isn’t something to be ashamed of. The healthiest path holds both: live fully and connected now, and trust God with your story — without making any person the savior only God can be.
What you can do this week
- Get clear on what matters. Write down the character traits and shared values that actually build a good life together — not just a wish list of surface traits.
- Build deep friendships. A full life of community is the best soil for a healthy relationship — and good in itself, partnered or not.
- Bring the loneliness to God. Don’t bury it or let it drive desperate choices. Tell him honestly, and let him meet you.
- Date like the other person is someone’s beloved. Honor them whether or not it works out. That’s a witness in itself.
A prayer about love and longing
“God, you know my heart and my longing for love. Help me honor you and the people I date. Where I’m lonely, meet me. Where I’m tempted to settle or to make someone my everything, give me wisdom. I trust you with my story. Amen.”
Navigating dating, a relationship, or singleness and want someone to talk with? Reach out below.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
Want prayer, someone to talk to, or an invitation to explore this in person? Send a note — a real person from RockPoint will follow up.
Keep exploring
- The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller — wise on love, dating, and singleness.
- Life Groups — the community where healthy relationships grow.
- Related: Why am I so lonely? and What does the Bible say about sex?
- New here? Plan a visit — come as you are; we’d love to meet you.
Questions people ask next
Does it matter if the person I date shares my faith?
It matters a lot. Faith shapes your deepest values, decisions, and direction, so sharing it gives a relationship a common foundation. The Bible wisely cautions against being “unequally yoked” at that core level.
Is being single a second-class life?
Not at all. The Bible honors singleness as a full and meaningful life, not a waiting room. Jesus and the apostle Paul were single. Your worth and purpose were never dependent on a relationship status.
How do I handle the loneliness of being single?
Take it seriously and bring it to God honestly; the longing is real and good. Build deep friendships and community, resist making a partner your savior, and trust God with your story while living fully now.